Going to be great.
So for those in the know, I will be a dad in the near future. The first thing that most people tell me after they hear the news is: "You're going to be a great father." Really? How can people be so sure about that? What have I done to make myself "great father" material? It is not like I have had practice raising a child. I never even had a pet. In fact, the only pets and plants I raised died pretty quickly under my watch. Something I wrote about time and again and again.
I have certainly spent my fair share of time with children big and small, short and tall, young and old, and the kids and I generally have a good time. But, these kids are not mine, and when dealing with a child that is not yours, you can have liberties that do not have when dealing with your own spawn. With someone else's kid you can fill them up with sugar and candy and not have to worry (too much) about potential disciplinary consequences down the road. It's the job of the parent to actually raise these children.
As you know, the dynamics are different, and the responsibilities and roles are completely different.
So things that would make a person a great aunt or uncle are generally not the same traits that would make a great parent. I would posit that most things that make a great aunt/uncle "great" from a child's point of view are in fact not great for parents to do with their own children. I would also add points to this argument but since it is my blog and I am lazy and tired I won't bother.
I was told I would be a great patrol leader a decade ago, and look how that turned out. Well, I did learn a lot, and I do not plan on repeating mistakes that I made back then. Still, it is a sobering thought to look back at what people thought of me, what I thought of myself, and how it all played out in the end.
So no, I take complements like that with a large table spoon of salt and look forward to the upcoming years with a bit of trepidation.
In the game of life, raising a child is unlike most of the computer games I have played. There are no save points, I can not restore from an earlier instance, there are no do overs. I have to take the hand that I am dealt with and play it as best as I can, and deal with the consequences. Something that games really should focus on more for preparing kids for adulthood. I've always been the type to try to find the optimal solution in any situation, games included. If I made a mistake, I would roll back and try another option, or if I did not think the outcome was as good as it could have been, I would go back and try again. So you see why it takes hours for me to generate characters sometimes.
However, I do recall times where I just ran with the choices I made, or continued forward despite feeling that I had made too many mistakes to recover from. Games where I was teetering on the brink of defeat but decided to soldier on despite the odds. I even manage to come back and through guile, resourcefulness, and luck manage to snatch victory from the jaws of annihilation. It does not always happen, but it when it does, the taste of triumph is oh so much more delicious.
Now here I am starting a new game. A game with no save states. A game with only one life. A game where every choice I make can have far reaching consequences that I may not even fathom until years afterward. A game where I will make many, many mistakes. A game where the only real move is to go forward. A game I have not played yet, and the rules are not completely known to me. A game with many unknowns and no victory conditions. A game with only a guaranteed sad ending.
Still, I think it's going to be great.
I have certainly spent my fair share of time with children big and small, short and tall, young and old, and the kids and I generally have a good time. But, these kids are not mine, and when dealing with a child that is not yours, you can have liberties that do not have when dealing with your own spawn. With someone else's kid you can fill them up with sugar and candy and not have to worry (too much) about potential disciplinary consequences down the road. It's the job of the parent to actually raise these children.
As you know, the dynamics are different, and the responsibilities and roles are completely different.
So things that would make a person a great aunt or uncle are generally not the same traits that would make a great parent. I would posit that most things that make a great aunt/uncle "great" from a child's point of view are in fact not great for parents to do with their own children. I would also add points to this argument but since it is my blog and I am lazy and tired I won't bother.
I was told I would be a great patrol leader a decade ago, and look how that turned out. Well, I did learn a lot, and I do not plan on repeating mistakes that I made back then. Still, it is a sobering thought to look back at what people thought of me, what I thought of myself, and how it all played out in the end.
So no, I take complements like that with a large table spoon of salt and look forward to the upcoming years with a bit of trepidation.
In the game of life, raising a child is unlike most of the computer games I have played. There are no save points, I can not restore from an earlier instance, there are no do overs. I have to take the hand that I am dealt with and play it as best as I can, and deal with the consequences. Something that games really should focus on more for preparing kids for adulthood. I've always been the type to try to find the optimal solution in any situation, games included. If I made a mistake, I would roll back and try another option, or if I did not think the outcome was as good as it could have been, I would go back and try again. So you see why it takes hours for me to generate characters sometimes.
However, I do recall times where I just ran with the choices I made, or continued forward despite feeling that I had made too many mistakes to recover from. Games where I was teetering on the brink of defeat but decided to soldier on despite the odds. I even manage to come back and through guile, resourcefulness, and luck manage to snatch victory from the jaws of annihilation. It does not always happen, but it when it does, the taste of triumph is oh so much more delicious.
Now here I am starting a new game. A game with no save states. A game with only one life. A game where every choice I make can have far reaching consequences that I may not even fathom until years afterward. A game where I will make many, many mistakes. A game where the only real move is to go forward. A game I have not played yet, and the rules are not completely known to me. A game with many unknowns and no victory conditions. A game with only a guaranteed sad ending.
Still, I think it's going to be great.
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